Prayer and Call to Worship.
Pastor: Merciful God, we give You Thanks for in the beginning Your Spirit moved over the waters, calling forth life in which you took delight.
All: We praise You for the gift of life.
Pastor: Shower us with Your Spirit, and renew our lives with Your forgiveness, grace and love.
All: We praise You for the gift of life.
Help us to serve one another, show grace to others as we have been blessed by Your Grace. Amen.
Gospel: Matthew 18.15-20
15 “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. 16 But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you lose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
Forgiveness and Compassion.
One of the most iconic and fierce fights I have ever witnessed was in a church. It was not a physical fist fight, but it was close.
It was a disagreement between two well respected and acclaimed pastors at the church in Aarhus, where I had the pleasure of being an intern while concluding the last part of my studies. However, the internship taught me something about how difficult it can be to be in community with the ones you do not agree with or simply dislike for some reason.
I fell right into the ongoing fight between two pastors at the beautiful church of Our Lady in Aarhus – and this fight with constant accusations of wrongdoings, and mistrust – gave a horrible working environment for everyone at the church: the church warden, the secretary, the council members and the poor intern were all thrown into this drama of awkward silence, demonstrative turned backs and ridiculous, childish behavior.
There was no communication or any willingness to try to communicate. There was no effort to resolve and move on. There was only this powerful grip on the disagreement of the moment that totally obscured what the argument really was about. And there were two sides, two parties, two fractions that completely lost the ability to communicate and even worship together.
This was sad – and it always is sad when relationship not only ruins the relationship of the implicated parties, - but ripples on through a community. Through a church built on the teachings for forgiveness, love and community.
As an intern this time taught some valuable lessons about how to cooperate and how to try to engage in conversations instead of escalating a conflict. It taught me how important it is that we listen – and that we can continue to be in community of faith even if we disagree.
It also gave me a deep fright of having to share the pastor position with anyone – to the fact that I have always been called to solo pastor positions where at least I can avoid those toxic feuds between colleagues.
At the same time, it has also given me a deep respect and gratitude for good sound relationships with my colleagues in my conference and neighborhood, my church council and yes, my interns.
It taught me something about church and conflict. That wherever two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, not only God will be among them – but also conflict. Where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, there he is among them. It’s a good thing, too. We need him to referee.
Conflict is part of any living and honest community and relationship, also the church. As one of my sons once said: “Well, it is amazing how much drama there can be in our small church!”
Disagreements about who said what and when: how to place the knives and forks at the dinner table: how to maintain the property; how to engage with the community; what to serve for lunch; how to invest our monies.
These are smaller conflicts that can be solved with grace and understanding – while deeper conflicts call for more profound leadership and willingness to reconcile and listen. Honesty and transparency will always be important parts of any conflict reconciliation- small or big.
Some of you might know that the Gospel today Matthew 18 – for many churches is shorthand of “Church discipline”. In our church body, ELCA, and in our Constitution Matthew 18.15-17 is deeply embedded in our constitutional conflict resolution and process.
In today’s Gospel Jesus says that when someone harms you, point it out to them.
If they do not listen, try again, but with back up.
If they still dont listen, bring in the whole church as witness.
If no repentance or agreement has been found, then Jesus encourages to hold those who do harm accountable with love.
ELCA emphasizes that this passage may assist resolving conflict within a congregation: direct confrontation, mediation with witnesses, church level process - and urging to be a place of reconciliation and healing.
Jesus tells his followers to treat any unrepentant sinner in the community” as gentile and a tax collector.” Remember how Jesus treated them? With care and compassion. He called them, ate with them, and where more often with gentiles and tax collectors then with the respectable members of society.
Jesus made room.
Jesus didn’t advocate punishing people out of the church.
His stance was also patient, interpersonal and breathtakingly kind. It was a constant breath of forgiveness.
Matthew 18 is not just a manual for Conflict resolution but it is a chapter about forming a particular kind of community: a community where vulnerable people are protected, people who make mistakes, gossip, disagree and bear grudges, - a community where difficult truths can be spoken, and no one is beyond the reach of God’s grace.
Church people will not always agree – nor should we. We should engage in discussions and conversations, we should share our different point of views, with respect and care, we should listen, learn… and often forgive.
In St. Paul’s time, in the early church, they also have quarrels, fights and disagreements. And Paul wrote encouraging letters to the congregations – like Romans.
In these first congregations they often debated what to eat and not to eat, what to wear and not to wear, how to worship and not to worship… we have plenty other things to divide us.
And there is even more reason to respectfully agree to disagree, hold our difference and recognize and celebrate our diversity as one of our strengths.
Church people will not always agree. And we should celebrate to disagree; it is dangerous to have a church of only like-minded people. Then it becomes a cult, like one of our neighbors calls us. Then we close our doors to the others – only to be with us, the rightminded, the chosen and good.
Maya Angelou says it like this: “While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God’s creation.”
Maya Angelou, poet, activist, and author, viewed forgiveness as one of the most powerful acts of self-care and transformation. She believed it was not about excusing wrongdoing, but about freeing yourself from the chains of anger and resentment.
Angelou taught that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It’s a personal choice that helps you let go of the past, open your heart to the present, and create a better future
“You can't forgive without loving. And I don't mean sentimentality. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive. I'm finished with it.'"
Living in community is hard. Being at church is hard and messy. It asks us to value good deep relationships over being right. It requires mutual forbearance, empathy and humility. And in the end, it requires the ability to forgive and reconcile.
Angelou’s wisdom reminds us that forgiveness is not weakness, but strength. It’s a daily practice of choosing love over hate, humility over guilt, and freedom over bitterness. By embracing this mindset, we can transform pain into peace and open ourselves to a more hopeful future.
Forgiveness is a profoundly beautiful act. Forgiveness is at the center of our faith. Forgiveness is at the heart of the teachings of Jesus and the life and death and resurrection of Christ.
Forgiveness is profoundly beautiful and a powerful source of reconciliation, new beginnings, second chances, renewal of broken relationships.
And yet, it is difficult to forgive.
Think about your relationships.
Think about the ones who wronged and hurt you. Think about broken promises and hurtful memories.
Think about the ones you wronged and hurt. Think about the promises you broke and the hurt you caused.
Think about that God is there with you – in the brokenness, the messy human life, the misunderstandings, the bitterness that holds you.
Now choose love over hate, humility over guilt, and freedom over bitterness. By embracing this mindset, we can transform pain into peace and open ourselves to a more hopeful future. Believe that God is with you in this time of prayer, forgiveness and grace.
As Maya Angelou:
“Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate — thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising.”
Amen.
