“Don’t - but do always choose life.”
Matthew 5.21-37
It is indeed a long reading todays Gospel. It is a long reading from the Sermon of the Mount where Jesus radicalized the 10 commandments and asks us to do even more and be even better.
There are a lot of do’s and don’ts in this text, isn’t there? It can almost take our breath and courage away … all these pointed fingers and direct advice.
Do not murder…. No do not even get angry, do not insult your brothers or sisters, do not call them fools.
Wow, I do hope we can honestly say that we do not murder anyone, but can we honestly say that we never get angry, never call people fools or worse to their face or in conversation with others, never insult others? Just look at the social media. If Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram etc. are good reflections of human behavior, then we most certainly are all guilty of doing what Jesus said we should not.
Do not commit adultery …. Do not even look at a woman or a man with lust in your heart. Do not divorce…. Because then you commit adultery, it hits in a time and a society where the divorce rate is close to 50%.
Do not swear false… in fact do not swear at all. But let your speech and vows be clear: YES, YES or NO NO.
This doesn’t sound like a Gospel about forgiveness, hope, trust and faith, - it more sounds like a lecture in law, regulations, verdicts and punishment.
Still, it is Jesus talking.
Still, it is Jesus making a point.
Still, it is Jesus pointing his fingers at our lives, our choices, our failures and our sin – and still, it is Jesus offering us guidance in this life so filled and marked by do’s and don’ts.
Still, it is Jesus speaking to us and despite his harsh tone and great demands, still and for that reason looking at us with love and care and forgiveness as he wants us to look at each other with love and care and forgiveness. Because who are we to blame others, to judge others… if we measurer our own behaviors and choices with todays words. We are not perfect – and Jesus lovingly knew that. And still loves us!
His voice echoes the voice of Moses, when he said:
” See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and adversity. …… Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him and holding fast to him. “
Moses did urge his followers to Choose life. In American political discourse this phrase has often been used persistently in the abortion debate. But that was not what Moses, or the author had in mind! Choosing life means following God faithfully, which has far more implications and complications that the political views on abortion. The phrase “choose life” encourages us to create a more just and lifegiving society for all people.
In one of the first congregation of the christian church, in Corinth there was a lot of jealousy, quarreling and bickering going around. Do you believe that? Even in a congregation? According to Paul’s letter the congregation back then resembles congregations today.
The do’s and don’ts of today’s Gospel mirrors the choice we make.
As members of a congregation and as individuals.
We choose to keep the 10 Commandments as a fundamental moral foundation of a good, just and decent life: to believe in God, not commit murder, do not steal or commit adultery, not to speak falsely, not to disrespect your parents, not to be consumed by grudges or envy. The 10 Commandments are the foundation for our society and criminal justice, as we need common ground and common rules to be a fair and decent society.
But we need more and there is so much more to life and our relations than trying to keep the 10 C.
Look at the cover of the bulletin.
That is what we need more of. That is what Jesus constantly, relentlessly and passionately reminds his disciples to: to be reconciled. That is what Jesus constantly, relentlessly and passionately reminds us every time we set foot in the church: to be reconciled.
All of the anger, all of the grudges, all of the bitterness, all of the envy, all of the misunderstandings, all of the insults, - all of this that relentlessly make our relations suffer and go wrong, - all of this has to be turned around by choosing life, choosing forgiveness, choosing to be reconciled.
Last year I read a wonderful book about that: about lifelong blame, destructive misunderstandings, transforming forgiveness and abiding love called “Ask again, yes” by Mary Beth Keane.
A profoundly moving story about two neighboring families in a suburban town like Yorba Linda. Francis and Brian were two rookie cops in the NYPD, they lived next door to each other in a suburban area. But they were not close. What happened behind closed doors in both houses, the loneliness, the instability, were kept private, until that fateful sad day when a horrific tragic event changes the lives of both families forever.
“Ask, again, yes” is a deeply affecting story about love, forgiveness and reconciliation. It reveals the way childhood memories may change when they are viewed from the distance of adulthood: villains lose their menace and those who appeared to be innocent might seem less so. It tells the moving story about choosing life and love again despite everything - to say that if you ask again and will say yes again. Only because the power of reconciliation and forgiveness can make us choose life and give life a second, fifth and 50th chance.
I was reminded of “Ask again, yes” by the theme of reconciliation but also by the last sentence of todays Gospel: Let your word be YES YES or NO NO anything more than this comes from the evil one.”
How often do we not use too many words to say the simple truth? How many times have we been talking and talking, debating and debating, quarrelling and quarreling without getting anywhere…? Instead of simply being clear in your speech and clear in your choice. How many times have we talked instead of listening?
Once upon a time in their marriage, Steven did something stupid. His wife Ellen chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, Ellen would mention what he had done.
"Honey," Steven finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," Ellen said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
Be Reconciled.
If there is any of the many do’s and don’ts from today’s Gospel that I would focus on, it would be: Be Reconciled; choose life, don’t choose grudges, bitterness, misunderstandings or even righteous anger. Only reconciliation and forgiveness can change things for the better.
“First be reconciled with your brother and sister….”
Take a moment to think about whom you need to reconcile with? What you need to reconcile in order to move on…. An old Family grudge, an insulting remark that keeps nagging you, a misunderstanding that only requires an apology to mend, a choice to try to mend, reconcile, forgive and breathe.
If there are anything on your mind, - please bring it to the Communion Table, ask for forgiveness and ask for strength to be the one to take the first step of reconciliation. Choose life. Choose decency. Choose forgiveness. Choose love. Choose reconciliation. Choose to believe that as you have been forgiven much by Christ, so you must forgive others.
Closing with a smile:
The preacher's Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, "how many of you have forgiven their enemies"?
About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones?" inquired the preacher, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
"I don't have any." she replied. smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three," she replied.
"Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world.”?
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said "I outlived the old hags."